Wednesday, November 5, 2008
What the funk!?!?!?!
I have been in kind of a funk lately - physically, emotionally, spiritually. Life is hard. I sometimes get tired of reading other people's blogs, which often seem like they are advertising how great their lives are..."Look at my wonderful kids, look at my perfect husband, look at my immaculate house, check out my perfect life"!!! My life is so far from perfect, it is laughable. I guess it is on my mind because in the past week, I have been in situations where my parenting, family, marriage, etc have been somewhat under scrutiny. Nothing big, but things like parent teacher conferences or visiting teaching. In these situations, I invariably hear comments like "You must be doing such a wonderful job with your kids" or "you are so organized and have it so together - how do you do it all"? I am not congratulating myself. When people say these things to me, I feel like a big, fat fraud. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder in what way I am permanently damaging my childrens' psyche; and organization and having it together are not concepts I am at all familiar with. I desperately wish these people's perceptions were true, but the fact is - they aren't. So when they say these things, which are meant to be compliments, I just feel even more lousy. My life is loud and messy, and I have managed to (unintentionally) trick quite a few people into thinking otherwise. Please don't misunderstand. I love my children more than anything, and I couldn't wish for a husband that I love more than Joseph. But life if still hard. I usually feel I am just barely scraping by, making it through each day. So, just for once, it would be nice to hear that it is not just me. That maybe everyone else's life isn't as idyllic as it is made out to be on their blogs and Christmas cards. For someone to just say, yeah, life is hard. I am reminded of that saying "I didn't say it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it". I know it will be worth it, but I wish I didn't have to expend so much enery trying to make it look like it is easy. Ok, enough of this emo crap. I need some ice cream.
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6 comments:
I feel the exact same way! Sometimes I get so depressed reading other peoples blogs, thinking how easy and perfect their life seems! Thanks for your thoughts they are needed!
Oh Kendra, I totally understand what you're saying and going through! I have been suffering from depression for 9 years! It's under control only with medication and exercise, and trying to be as positive as I can! I can relate about not feeling like I "measure up" to everyone else! You can judge people for bad, but you can also judge people "for good" too, and sometimes that's just as bad! The thing is, you aren't around all these people when their kids are cranky or beating each other up! You don't see the mornings when the moms just say "I can't do it today", and just let their house go! I too go to bed every night with fear and panic thinking, I am failing as a parent, or I'm losing my family! Or other such nonsense things! This is Satan's way of discouraging you, and kicking you when you're down! Don't let him do this! It's okay and normal to have fears and other such emotions, and when those times come, the only thing that helps me get through is rolling on my knees and just pleading with Heavenly Father to please help me get through the day! Let some tears come, that always helps me feel better, and GET OUTSIDE! Take a few deep breaths of fresh air, and then go at it again! I know when you're going through hard times it seems like the things you should do are the last things you feel like doing, but you NEED to do them in order to keep your sanity, and to keep the Spirit with you! Sorry this is such a long post, but I want you to feel better and know you're not alone! If you ever want to email me so we can "chat" a bit more please do so! It always helps when you have someone else to talk to who actually has been through and knows what you're feeling! LOL! timandangielawson@hotmail.com
Kendra I love you! You are my BFFF! Hehe. I know it may not seem like I do, because I don't have kids or a husband or whatnot, but I know how you feel! There are days, if not every, that I wake up almost in tears because I don't want to get out of bed. You know you can talk to me about ANYthing! I love you BFFF! Hehe.
I hear ya, I appreciate your honesty really. I go through phases of blogging for that same reason. We only see what we want to however, no one wants to post their sucky issues. Sometimes I think about it but it might be all you hear about. The end!
Kendra... I know life really sucks right now.,, I totally unders 0n ; tand... I know... you just want to be like me and be the perfect MOM... layout your husbands clean clothes on the bed have your kids in bed by 9 and up at 7 dressed and ready for school with a nice warm breakfast... one day you will be just like me! Keep up the good work if you want some pointers just call!!!
Holy crap stina give me some pointers! You rock
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